what is your opinion?

[Helmut]

On my way into work this morning, I listened on the radio an interesting topic. This lady had emailed the host, and said that her soon to be husband would not friend her on his facebook or myspace. After being together for almost 7 years, she didn't know if she should be worried about this or not. His excuse was, he wanted to keep that part of his life private. On the radio, many people said that if the trust is there, then there is nothing to worry about. Then some people said that they should be friends, because what is it that he is hiding. A friend posts a comment on your profile, then you have to explain to your significate other. Is that too much of a burden? What are you thoughts on this?

[bair]

hes either gay or cheating on her, 100%. if you cant befriend your wife on facebook you are a total jackass. facebook isnt private at all. if i were her, i would suck one of his facebook friend's dicks for his username/pw then spy.

[Desades]

If he is hiding gay-friends, sucking **** wont solve the matter here

Anywayz...whatever he is hiding must be something that will compromise their relationship in someway. So yeah, either gay or cheating...or both...like with the man of her best friend....

[Taipan]

Agreed with Bair...100%

[Helmut]

What if the guy just wants to have a privite life? I mean, if I didn't want my woman on my friends list, it wouldn't be because I was cheating on her. It would be just that I didn't want her involved with my friends from that past. I would want to tell her the deal, rather then her find out on a social website. What's wrong with that?

[bair]

If you have a wife then you lose all privacy privileges. if you have some private life (on facebook of all places) then you should have cleared that up before you got married. what could he possibly be hiding by just befriending his wife? what the **** can you really find out about somebody on facebook? if you look at mine, you can see that i drink, go out, play golf and tennis, and my name is justin. does he have pictures of himself ******* dudes, other women, railing heroin on asses, or some ****? the point is that facebook is the wrong medium to be having a private life. thats what email, IM, and cell phones are for. or at least facebook private messaging.... anyways you should be completely comfortable discussing one's past with their spouse, if it is a problem then chances are it really isnt in the past.

[Sarandiel]

Sometimes people post compromising pictures of you on Facebook without your approval... Knowing your husband is going out drinking with his friends is more palatable than seeing pictures of him trashed. He's probably a private person who wants the freedom to do what he wants without getting nagged about it later. Most people wanted privacy from their parents when they became teens, but that didn't necessarily mean they were sleeping around and doing drugs--why should it be any different in a marriage?

[Helmut]

I agree with Sarandiel. Keeping your significate other off your social networking sites could prevent yourself from having to defend yourself later. Besides, if there is no reason to not trust your partner, then why would they need to be friended on there?

[Alakina]

Some people are just like that, with no real rhyme or reason. Some people figure that they live with/see their spouse every day so there should be no need to insist on being friends (on social networking, etc). If you can't trust your spouse to *not* be off doing the dirty, why the hell be together or married in the first place? Paranoid much.

I just went through something like this with a friend. We're very close and his girlfriend insists that she read any txt messages, email, etc. that I send to him. There's nothing going on between him and I, but really, I don't like her, nor do I want to be her friend. Neither my friend nor I should have to justify any private thoughts or conversations that I might be having about my life to her, as she's not my friend.

You don't waive your wait to privacy by getting married or by having a close relationship. Those people will never know *every* detail of our lives. That's like asking someone to not be human. Not everything needs to be known. If I was having marriage problems etc. and wanted to share them with my friend and Im not friends with their spouse, I'd expect my friend to keep that stuff personal. I wouldn't want to have to explain photos and comments maybe from years ago back in high school. If we wanted to be parented all over again, we could stay living at home with our mums. At least that way we wouldn't have to cook our own meals :p

[ghnat]

well personally i believe facebook is a public forum where we can show everyone we know all the good bad and ugly things about ourselves without fear of anyone really judging us, because if they do we can block them. as far as a wife being friended, if she doesnt know all this stuff about us already(and therefore why deny her access) then the relationship is kind of wierd. you dont post private stuff on public forums unless you want people to see it. and like everyone else we go look at other peoples lives in a voyeuristic manner, mostly not commenting on what they post because that way we dont have to admit we looked.

[bair]

maybe this is just for college students like myself, but my purpose and the sole purpose of every person i know of using facebook is to look at peoples' pages you wanna have sex with and then initiate some way to do this. i also dont think you should have facebook if ur like over 30. and for the record, if you are a parent, dont friend requests your kids friends, its really fuckin weird. it was just for college students when it started.

[ember]

Well bair over 30s want to have sex too

I would ahve to agree, not having partner on face book seems wierd. I could see it if they had dated a couple off months, and he was trying to keep part of himself seperate incase it didnt work. After 7 years.... sounds dodgy. Maybe I am sneaky, but I would make a face book with a fake pic and approach him that way.

He obviously has some relationship he wants to keep secret.

[Sami]

my other half is my friend on my facebook account and myspace account... if he gets stupidly ignorant then i'll just delete him and then he cannot see jack. But, I'm not too worried about him because all he does is play games on his myspace account. It is just if i call my ex-boyfriend or see my ex then he goats ape s**t. *shrug* nothing to be ignorant about but I will not let my ex-husband be friends on either account! I am not tee totally stupid!